oh deary- i've done it again. been super busy with a whole lot of things and forgot to blog. it's okay though. right now- it is freezing. literally 32 degrees F outside. My feet are cold- they are never warm in the winter. i definitely need a thicker comforter, my dearest father loves to keep the house cold- and not just because of cost, he actually likes it like that. So winters are bitterly cold for my nose, ears, fingers and feet even in the "comfort" of my own home. okay, that's enough complaining about the cold.

Josh wants to move to the cold now. "It's perfect temperature outside." perfect? oh gracious... Maine here I come, with LOTS of layers. We will see where we end up, even if it's cold, Ill be happy. seriously- and i hate the cold. like the bitter windy cold with no snow. And I am sure Ill have my fill of snow within the first frosty weeks. But I have learned something in listening to one of my new favorite songs... "home is wherever i'm with you" Josh changes his mind on a weekly basis on where he wants to live. And it's okay because this son says exactly what i feel. I am home when i am with Josh... wherever we go. It will be home. Because we'll be there together and i love that. so much.

Josh's sister had her baby (finally) this week! She is so precious. we are anxious to get school over with and go meet her before Christmas! Plus the whole family will be there- so Buzz Word throw down is a must. Also, keeping my sis, my sweet niece, my handsome nephew, and brother in prayers. He left for deployment this week. Jay & Savannah say "Daddy went bye-bye on an airplane (he had to fly to San Diego to get to the ship) Their poor little hearts don't understand that he'll be gone for 7 months. My sis is strong though. I know she'll get through it.

I went to visit my best friend in the whole wide world this weekend. It was great- she needed it. i needed it. we needed it. It was a surprise visit too. And she definitely was surprised... she doesn't really like surprises but i did it anyways i think it was a good surprise :) i really hope we live near each other one day. because I love her. and want our kids to grow up together. and i want to take monthly shopping trips with her. and learn to cook and bake things. like cake pops. and have lunches together. and have each other over for dinners. and try to grow flowers in our yards. and go to the beach together. and to see each other be moms. that will be the best. i cannot wait to see her be a mom- i know she is going to be the best ever. and ill be auntie ally to someone else! i love her to death- seriously. i cannot believe that after this long, were still here and when were together, its like we were never apart. It's never awkward. i know God put her in my life for a reason, so we stick together like glue and roll with it. So happy to call her my MOH. thanks Cail for your friendship. It means more than you'll ever know.

Busy week ahead- pre-exam week. I am letting Jesus hold me and carry me through it- otherwise, i'd be down in seconds. So I am prayerfully entering the week in hopes of a desire to succeed and willingness to work. It will be hard but I know if i depend solely on Him- ill make it.

p.s. work crew girls- heard you pushed even when it was hard. im proud of you. you did awesome. love you.

it's cold...

my new family.

this week was Thanksgiving. i am not usually a huge fan of it to be honest. i don't really like turkey (although i have found it's bc i always take the white meat, which i hate.) i mean, i have always loved being with my family and eating my moms dinner, shes a good cook. both my parents were in the Navy so ive lived here almost my whole life and consequently, my family has never lived close by so we never visit family for the holidays. that always made me sad bc i love my family. i remember when i was younger we would visit my Gramma's lake house in the summer. my uncles and my dad would always be drinking beer- which is why i love the smell of beer. my uncle randy- i dont think he was really my uncle, but he would always take us kids tubing. we would wash our hair in the lake (sorry environment.) and we would go fishing off the dock. it was my absolute favorite. but that was summer and not thanksgiving, so it has never been extra special. but this year, i got to go visit family. my new family. joshs family. we laughed and made jokes at Emma and how she is never gonna come out (Emma is Josh's first niece) and ate yummy dinner. it was the first year i actually liked the dark meat turkey, stuffing, and sweet potatoes! Josh's mom was over from Belgium and his sister Kait came up from Atlanta. so we were missing Steven and Mr. Mike (Josh's dad... i think i am supposed to start calling him Mike.... weird) but it was still really fun. one of my favorite thanksgivings for sure. we played buzz word and Josh's mom knew almost every answer, leaving Kaitlin Josh and I to lose miserably. but our team was fun, because Kait would laugh uncontrollably and could not talk and it was really funny to hear her try. Josh would get really hyped up and sound angry when he really wasn't. and i would do the same ("its Babe.") and Jessica and Robbie know it but they totally won because they got easier cards... like butter? come on. we all laughed really hard and i think the Henderson clan (Brooke and Searcy included) saw a different side of me that night, and i did of them too. Joshs mom fell out of the chair laughing numerous times. we will for sure have a re-match when the others come to town! (Steven- gear up.) After the game, Kait Josh and I , in our defeat perhaps, watched Robin Hood. (the one with Russel Crow- whom i have a new-found love for.) he has a way of making the movie a love story but it's just a side story. not the main plot which i like a lot bc it adds depth to the movie. He is also just a really god actor. I loved that movie- and i love watching movies in general. only at home though.... its too much in a theater and not as comfortable. it was definitely short lived, we had to leave on friday so i could get to work at 4:30. it wasnt as busy as it could have been, but it was good. i raked in some hours. i just can't wait to go back and spend an early Christmas with them and of course meet Emma!!

also- school work? what school work? i took a long break.... 3 more weeks- you can do it Al.
date night tonight- i cannot wait.

my new family.

leading.

i have not posted in a while. partly due to business and partly due to laziness. i also have not had much to say lately. life for us has been kind of crazy for us with school, work, young life, and life in general. I have to admit- I literally have not planned a single thing for the wedding since i got the dress. I have thought about it- but i have not been fretting at all. I do feel like i should be doing something but I have not. I did contact a hotel about blocking off rooms for the wedding, but im all new to this and i do not know what is reasonable for the hotel. i mean, its the outer banks and mid-summer on a weekend, it will be pricey but what if it's too pricey? should i look somewhere else? there is not a plethora of hotels down there, nice ones anyways. plus i know from a lot of people that they plan on getting a house. so im at a stand still. what to do what to do? well- i have taken the "do nothing" stance. don't get me wrong, im so excited to throw a wedding and plan it. ive just been off lately and stressed. adding the pressure of wedding stuff would make me cringe. so, winter break- here i come. with wedding plans in full swing. then comes the small details.

this past weekend Josh and I went to Rockbridge fall weekend camp with the Chesapeake area. It was simply amazing. Weekend camp has such a different vibe and feel to it than summer camp. i mean- its 2 days. its cold (for the most part). and how are you supposed to get to know these high school kids within that time? i do not know how, but somehow it works. the Lord provides the time and patience. I got 9 hours of sleep between friday and saturday night. 3 hours on the first- thats nuts! but we do it- with the Lord as our strength we push through it. I got to spend time with some of the sweetest girls. I did not know most of these girls. and it was a blessing to get to do just that. It was also such a joy to watch my closest friends lead. Especially Josh- he is so great at it. If you knew Josh, you'd know he is pretty outdoorsy. At the ropes course he took some of his guys and wondering around exploring in the creek. One of my dearest friends, a high-school senior Katie Carr, said "they look like the lost boys from peter pan." it was so true. and so encouraging to watch. and to watch the patience of my team, matt, thomas, and ryder with one of the guys. And to watch my friends from other schools go crazy at club- youd think that we were in 5th grade the way we act during club songs. It was seriously the best. Most of the girls i led this weekend were freshman and sophomores. Only a small handful of them know Libby. for our boys vs. girls football game, the girls all wore lime green and we all "were fighting and playing and going to win for Libby!" They said before the would start a play "Come on girls- were winning this for Libby!" It was the sweetest thing ever. Even the other schools from our area wore lime green and they do not know her at all. no juniors went bc of ring dance and only 4 seniors went. so it was a fresh new weekend for me to do with these girls and i have so much joy bc of it. the seniors led so well too. i mean truly- other areas get shocked when they find out we have some students leading cabins (the shortage of girl leaders yet again) they do so great though. i walked out sunday morning to the senior led cabin of girls playing signs in a circle in the grass. i cried tears of joy to know that the Lord worked through them like that. so i thank God for the opportunity and privilege to lead- even though it is hard sometimes and i have to fight for energy and patience. So thank you God- so so much.

We are looking forward to this week so much. A little break to go visit Josh's family for Thanksgiving. His sister is having her baby soon (if Emma will hurry up!) and his mom is visiting from Belgium. A break is what we need- especially Josh from school. Plus I miss his family and have not seen his mom since our engagement. So it should be very exciting!!! We can't wait even more for Christmas because his dad and other sister and her husband will be there to celebrate- plus Emma for sure!

Last note- we took our engagement photos last weekend. Matt Benson, my team-mate, Josh's roommate and on of our dearest friends, took some realllllly good shots. I  love them! I can't wait to post them once he is done!

leading.

rough week.

i really do not have much to say write now- i am in the university library (which is under major construction so its loud and cold in here plus there are maybe two outlet in this entire place. really odu? you couldnt have at least used my tuition money for that?) i am supposed to be working on the loads and loads of homework i have to do, but instead i will be my usual procrastinating self and blog. so here i am blogging. my fingers are frigid. Josh and I were supposed to finish registering this past sunday. i was going to so excited to post about it and how much fun it was. instead i had to work at my new job- New York & Company. its a clothing store. so big thanks to God that i found a job, but i guess that it can only mean i have to start giving up lots of things. I hate hate hate working Sundays- it's the absolute worst I think, but i knew if I didn't open up my availability, I would not get a job.

So yesterday (thursday) was my first official day at work on the sales floor. I was not feeling so great before and did not eat lunch. This is a recipe for disaster for me- no lunch, high heels, bright lights, and running around finding sizes. But it was an on-call shift and they only needed me from 3-5 so I figured it would be fine. At 4 o'clock the hunger set in. As time progressed I felt worse and worse- then I looked in the mirror and I was flushed. I had to push through- I can't lose this job. Well I finally told my manager I felt awful like I was going to pass out. I went to the back room and threw up. Perfect. Oh joy. So my brother picked me up and drove me home. I got sick a couple more times and finally forced myself to eat some chicken noodle soup. I do not know what it was- a virus maybe? Or it could have been all those factors into one. Anyways- my managers were really cool about it so I am thankful for that. Josh came over when he got out of class and took care of me- got me water and made sure I was okay. It was really sweet- I appreciate that more than he knows because I know he has stress levels past his ears this week with the school work he has. I have a ton too. This week has been stocked and loaded with school work for us. I didn't do any of it like I planned last night. I got my test scores for microecon back last night and seriously wanted to cry but i was too angry to. I studied my eyes off for this test because of my last grade and thought I did well. I only got 3 points higher than the last. This class is literally KILLING me. I am not giving up yet- i will get a tutor, put the next 300 test bank questions on flash cards and drill, and make an A on my project. I am determined because I would die if I had to take this again.

Next week will hopefully be a bit of a break for us. Josh's mom is coming over from Belgium for Thanksgiving and were going up for a few days- plus his sister is having her first baby! So we are hoping it come just in time for us to be there! We are super excited about that! Hopefully we can rest up and take our minds off of stuff for a bit.

rough week.

learning.

i am continually learning that marriage is work. we're not married yet i know- but we're working toward that goal and it is work. sometimes easier than others and sometimes really really hard. i read this thing on the internet once about marriage, it said this:

"Before I got married, I prayed that we would always feel in love.
I now realize what a naive prayer that was. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. But the ooshy gooshy feelings aren't always there. They get tangled up and sometimes tossed aside in the pressures of everyday life.
That's where our love becomes a choice. A choice to step outside selfish perceptions, on going frustrations, the self-centered right to be right and make the choice to love even when our feelings beg us not to.
During the past 17 years, there have been times where we made the choice to hang on when our love was but the tiniest of threads. Other times our love seemed so strong it was inconceivable it should ever unravel.
Most days, our love has been a choice to get up everyday and retie the knots that bind us.The beautiful thing about making the choice to love, is the feelings often catch up rushing in taking us by surprise."


i loved this. i needed to hear this at that time too- i mean this was so long ago i emailed this to josh. and i just thought of it the other day. its been rough lately. ive been whiney and hes been impatient. its hard. i dont think ive been honest with really anyone lately. people ask "how are you" all the time- such a popular phrase, i must say it 20 times a day. but when i sit back and really think of my answer, its not what i usually say "im doing well." no. im not. things are a mess and my heart hurts and its hard. school is so rough, young life is hard, relationships are hard, its all hard. thats what i want to scream sometimes. it is hard. life. i know i know- so what? eveyones life is tough, get over it Al. well, im learning. im living and learning and trying so hard to understand why God has out me in these circumstances. i need to just accept it. im at where im at in life for a reason and even though its hard- im pushing through. 


i think its been especially tough lately because i have not been relying on jesus for this. i am lonely, i am scared, i feel like a burden to pretty much everyone in my life, i feel like a pointless leader, i feel my efforts are dull and lame, i just feel bad sometimes. so instead of running to jesus- i run away and hide myself in the midst of the craziness of life. and things progressively get worse because of  this. i mean- i know the answer in my head- "ally, run to jesus, cast your burdens on him." but its not that simple- really its not. its hard to run to someone you feel like isnt always there- i know he is- but sometimes i feel like if no one else cares, why should he? the creator of the universe? are you insane? me? ME? yes me. he created me. all of me, and no matter what i am HIS. his alone. on July 24 2011, God will share me with Josh, but until then i am my beloved and my beloved is mine.and josh will never know me on as deep of an intimate level as the lord does. i know this... i also have found that when josh and i are not right with the Lord- we are not right with each other. jesus is what binds us together- without him, i can promise you josh and i would be completely wrong for each other. i could give you a list, but ill spare you the details. just trust me- we would have broken up a long time ago if it weren't for christ. i love that about us- it shows that we are too weak to take this marriage on ourselves- it would be a complete and utter failure without christ. so when were off with jesus, were off with each other. and that has been our issue lately. so, we talked today in-between classes. about life and where were at- and what we need to do to fix this. so our solution? point to chirst and christ alone. were holding each other accountable to that- christ. first and foremost.


so J- i tell you this: i love you- our strands may be loose right now, but know this: you still take my breathe away. lets fix it and point each other to christ more than ever. 

learning.

college- i hate that i hate it.

So i have wanted to blog lately- ive thought about it for a couple days.... i thought... what should i blog about? my life isnt that cool- but it is. bc Christ leads it so here i am... blogging.

this week has been hard to say the least. ive gotten some midterm tests back and they havnt been that great- i mean, it hasnt been awful, but you know when youre thinking "oh i have this class in the bag... nbd." then you get the grade back and its disappointing. im doing a mediocre job in my classes, and thats not okay. i have to do more- i cannot afford to retake anything or have a low gpa. i wont stand for it. microeconomics is KILLING me. i mean literally- my professor is just awful, the class itself and the material are awful. its double awful and its extremely hard- im a history major for a reason. math and business stuff does not compute in my head.... like at all. So that midterm was the worst- and so was the grade. However- on a good note, i met with my TA and my grade was above the average grade... that just goes to show the works of the professor. So im staying put and i just received todays quiz grade back... 100%. see? improvement already. let's just hope and pray for an A on this next test!

Also- met with my advisor yesterday afternoon and found out im taking a class that i didnt even need. it wont go toward anything. you have no idea how angry this makes me... like im so mad. over the summer, ODU was in the process of switching history academic advisors and what not. I saw two different advisors in 2 weeks and neither of them could have told me that the class i signed up for was a waste of my time and money? no. so, i have to work hard in the class so it just goes toward my gpa. The worse news? this may have just set me back a semester. the plan- our plan, is warped. i know jesus is in this but its extremely hard to deal with the fact. i dont want to be in college. i hate college. most people love college- the fun the friends. but i dont have a fun college life with friends that ill have for life. it wasnt in the cards for me and is extremely hard to deal with- but i do. so for me college is just school, classes, tests, pens, and pencils. nothing good or fun. just a peice of paper that will tell people "give me money bc i paid and worked my way through college." i hate that about college- but i do it anyway. so someone telling me that it may cost me another semester because of someones careless mistakes and misguidance makes me so furious.

i trust jesus though- i really do. joshs reaction was so sweet- he calmed me down and said "if we have to live here for another year, then thats okay. well be together and well be okay. jesus has our plan.... lets just go with it." youre right j- i know you are. so thanks for leading me like that...


side note: i carpooled to school with josh monday, totally forgetting about my tb test result read at 1pm. so i missed it bc i cant drive stick and josh had to go to class.... so another go around friday. well see how it goes this time.
also- Libby, one of my dearest friends with lymphoma got some awesome pet scan results back- chemo is responding extremely well in her body! praise jesus!!!

college- i hate that i hate it.

TB & date night...

well- friday was an interesting day for me. i had my classes and then had to go to the dr to get a tb/ppd test. nbd right? well not for me i guess. i don't like shots- i never have, i always put up a fight. but ive been learning to suck it up. so i go to the lab and the lady has the "stuff" all set out. i tell her "i dont really like shots, but i know this isnt really even a real one- it just goes under your skin right?" she said yes and got started. it didnt hurt- just a little pinch and 5 seconds later it was over. i said "not too bad" as soon as i uttered those words she asks "are you alright?" my face went flush. uhhhh- no....  i felt so weird and dizzy all of a sudden- i wanted to throw up. if i had of eaten lunch im sure i would have. my breathing started to become really heavy- i get panic attacks too, so this was kind of familiar- but the dizziness and tightness i felt was not familiar. a nurse came in and my blood pressure had shot down- way down. the wheeled me to another room- monitored my blood pressure and gave me a freezie-pop. yumm- she even got my fav color. josh told me earlier that he had to lay don after his too and he got a popsicle too. so i sent him a pic- i look pitiful- but i knew that josh loves my pitiful face. he calls me pitiful all the time- which is ironic. when i was little, my mom called me her pita. cute right? a little nickname for her baby girl. i used this nickname to sign all my cards. i loved it- my sister was jealous of my nickname. well- when i was 16, i found out where the name came from. its not pita- its p.i.t.a. it stands for something- pain in the a**. yup- that was my nickname bc i was the worst little baby ever. its okay- ive learned to embrace it and josh will make fun of it a lot- which is funny bc i know that sometimes i really am a p.i.t.a. movie quotes are pretty dumb and cliche i know- but this reminds me of one of my fav movies the notebook.Noah: "You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b**** and I tell you when you are a pain in the a**. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing."


i love you J- thanks for putting up with my crazy little self- even when im a bbb :)

Me eating my freezie pop.... yumm :)

So last night, Josh and I went on a date. a real date. like he picked me up, went to dinner, dropped me off the whole shabang. it was so good- we havnt done that in forever it feels like. we are two very busy people. so he got off of work and we went to dinner. now most people on a date will go to a fancy sit down restaurant. not us- we went to el poyo loco. the crazy chicken. its a mexican flame grilled chicken fast food place. so so good- i love that about us. i was content going there too- i mean not to say i would mind p.f. changs once in a while but this is our place. we love going to va beach and grabbing the chicken tacos and churros. we save money- eat food we love- and just can be together. after dinner we went to the beach. we went to the 1st street jetty and sat on our rock. we sat on this rock 2 years before talking about us and how we have developed feelings for eachother. its where we had our first kiss- i love it there. we havn't really been back there for a long while- maybe even since then. it was nice to sit and talk and be in the familiar of when we first started dating. it was getting pretty chilly (i was freezing- josh was chilly) we drove to strawbridge movie theater and saw the social network. great movie btw. we smuggled in frosted animal crackers, take 5, and chocolate milk... delicious. the night was perfect.

when we got to my house- we had a real hard conversation. one of the most real ones in a while. i won't disclaim all over the internet everything about it- but i will share this. when i was in high school- i had this idea of love. i thought that love should be easy. it come naturally and it is effortless. i should love him and he should love me and it should be painless and easy. it's not. love takes work. it's easy to plant a seed but in order for it to grow- you have to nurture it. there may be dry seasons too- where youre in love but you dont feel in love. its a hard realization. you think you know someone- but you never really do. i realize that as life goes on- i will always always always be learning about josh. dont get me wrong- love is amazing. really it is- i couldnt imagine not being in love anymore. ill always love josh- no matter what. i just mean that its not movie savvy- its real life and it takes time and work to grow and work on love. its so worth it too- the pay off is amazing. josh loves me so well and i feel like i do too- its just a matter of continuing to learn new ways to love and how to better the other ways. i love josh with all of my heart- i know i could live life without him and be okay bc i have jesus- but it wouldnt feel right without him. i love you josh- glad we can be real and honest with each other.

TB & date night...

carsick?

Okay so last weekend, Josh and I got to catch up with two of our best friends. John Carr and Katie Meehan... love them. On the way there- we ate chick-fil-a. Not a good choice for me right when were about to go on a windy back country mountain road. About 2 mins before we got there, I got sick... really sick. Soory Matt for throwing up in your car- at least i made the bag. I always get nausios on car rides but never have i gotten truly sick like that- Josh didn't believe me when i said over and over "i feel sick- im going to throw up." he siad "it's okay- youll be okay." well i was okay- but i was right. he was right too- i never get sick and always say i am going too- so next time we'll know.

 Katie has become one of my best friends in a short period of time. I am a pretty-to-myslef person. Over the past couple years, I've built walls- and so it's strange for me to have such a close friend so fast. I love our relationship- we are so blunt and real with eachother, and in such a loving way.i need that. we need that- we all do. we giggle- a lot too. which i also need (refer to my previous post about laughter) we're crazy. and i love her and miss her. John has been best friends with Josh for a long time- they are funny together. I don't always get it- but i love watching them interact. boys being friends has always been kinda weird and funny to me- they are just so different than girls, but i love watching Josh with his closest friends. And John is definitely one of them. They joke they laugh and most of all they surf. Josh loves surfing- he really LOVES it. His dream? Living within a short bike ride to the beach, owning a little shack for us to live in (not a crappy shack, a cute humble craftsmen style beach abode), doing ministry with high school guys, and raising children to be little shredders too. OBX preferred living location. So what do i say to that? YES. i'll go wherever he goes- that is wherever the Lord calls us to. He wants to start Young Life in the OBX and i love that idea. He is so passionate about it and keeps thinking of ways that he can raise money to do so. as long as i'm living my life serving Christ with the man i love- i'm okay wherever we go. OBX? yes. Wilmington? sure. NYC? okay. Antartica? uhhh.... okay i guess (haha) seriously though- and thats a part of how i know christ has changed me. The OBX is pretty secluded... a whole lot of nothing and i am not a content person... i mean i get bored easily. But i know that wherever Josh goes- i go, and the lord will alter me and change me to live in such a place. So a big prayer for us right now is contacting people about how to go about starting a YL in OBX... also that First Flight High School will need a couple history teachers in a couple years.

love you J- 267 days.

carsick?

First Post

Hello All-
This is Josh.  Well this is my first blog post ever... I never thought I would do this, but here I am.  I am now an engaged man, to a great girl named Allison, who posts all the other stuff ha.  She is alot more on the ball than myself.  Being only 21 and being engaged has been a great experience so far.  Its funny because the way people talk about it they make it seems like its the biggest deal ever, but to me I can just officially say now that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with the girl I love.  I guess its different for girls ha. 
I cant wait for July 24th to hurry up and get here.  It seems really far away, but in reality it's not too far away.  I've been kind of stressing over where we are going to live, etc.... Chesapeake definitely didn't have poor married college students in mind when building residential zones.  I would love for us to live down at the oceanfront, but right now that doesnt seem too practical, as we lead in Chesapeake and go to school in Norfolk.    However, as much as that kind of stuff worries me, what I am most excited about is for the two of us to learn to trust Jesus more and more through our first years of marriage.  Though our young marriage may look like financial suicide, and it may be ha, we aren't going to let that stop us from loving each other the way God intended, which is through marriage.  I have found a great girl that I am extremely excited to make this commitment too, and I'm fairly sure she feels the same way ha.  well thats all I got. 
Peace!

First Post

two years.

yup- you read that title right. today is our two year dating "anniversary." maybe a trivial little date to some, but not for me. I remember two years ago perfectly. Josh and I had gone on a couple dates and had been talking a lot over the phone. Butterflies? yes. I will never forget the feelings i felt that night. It was a thursday night and Josh and I went to the planetarium. I absolutely love the planetarium- i mean i love it. The vibe and the old school feeling of being in 4th grade again, the smell, the same man who has been in charge of it since i started going in 1st grade. Everything. Josh called earlier that day to make reservations to the planetarium- yes, you would be surprised how many people go- We went to dinner and headed straight there. We sat on the long cushy bench and watched the presentation. I don't remember what i drank at dinner, but i do know that i had to find my way across the room at least three times to go to the bathroom. It is dark in the planetarium may I remind you. Very dark. Did i trip? yes. many a times. But Josh thought it was cute and funny. After we went to the Great Bridge Locks parks to look at the real stars. Disappointment. City Lights ruin everything- so we ventured down route 17 toward NC, passed the bear crossing sign and were gonna go sit in this park. Josh was so sad/angry/frustrated- the gate to the park was closed. I could tell he just wanted to be still and sit with me. Well, I plopped myself down in some grass and said "It's okay, we can just sit here." He looked at me confused... and smiled and sat down next to me. He said "I guess I have never really seen a girl sit on the side of a road in the damp grass. Most girls don't do that." I smiled and said "I'm not like most girls." We leaned back and looked at the stars. I put on his flannel because I was cold- it was a chilly night and the grass was itchy- I remember the smell and how much I loved it. We made it official that night- and two years later, I'm blogging about our engagement story and life. I love it- I love him and I could never ask for anything more. I am so blessed, and my prayer today is that he knows that.

two years.

shoes, mom, dad, and laughter...

see? two posts in a row? im gonna get good at this.

okay so- while my bestest friend cail was here, we were shopping (duh.) and stumbled across some shoes. Not just any shows- the shoes. They were perfect. Vintage looking- matched the dress- low heel (who wants to wear a 3 inch heel all day?) I couldn't believe it. So i took my momma last night and we got them (: she loved them too- she said it would look perfect with the dress and matched my style very well! So thanks mommy, you are the best. She really is- I've always been a mommys girl. I mean I love my dad- but not so much at first. Yes- i know that sounds awful but it's true. From the second i was on this earth- i was little miss priss. I didn't want my dad to hold me when i was little. at all. not even when i was a baby and didn't know better. Both my parents were in the Navy- my mom being one of the first women stationed to an aircraft carrier combat ship (snaps for my mom, shes a tough one) When I was two- and still did not like my dad at all- my mom had to go on 6 month deployment. My mom knew that our bond would be broken during this time. I had to warm up to my dad. And i did eventually. My mom was secretly upset, she wanted me to like my dad of course, but she also loved that i loved her so much and that i was such a girly mommy's girl. Well, when my mom came back from deployment, my dad was telling me to go do something and apparently my sassy side came out and i turned around, put my hands on my hips and said "i don't need you anymore, my mommy's back." My mom died with laughter. Poor daddy, i love you- really i do. Let's just keep in mind how old i was and that it should not be taken into account for this wedding :)

 haha. thats funny. i like it when i make myself laugh. it shows a side of me that loves who i am and the women ive become... i will tell you something about myself- i love laughter. everything about it just something inside of me lights up when myself and other people laugh. its my favorite. Josh knows this too- trust me, when im angry he knows exactly how to get me. with some tickling. he doesn't even have to actually do it- he just gives me this look and i lose it. this frustrates me to no end sometimes- how does he do it? when hes mad at me i dont have the same effect. he hates when i try to tickle him or make him laugh. it doesnt work like it works on me. im just a giggly person- maybe not as giggly as one of my summer staff friend Shannon or ShaSha- but none-the-less giggly. I secretly love that this happens though. That i can get over something so quickly because of laughter. i think God made me that way because he knew i would get mad over silly things and that i need some good healthy medicine- laughter that is. So J- thanks for knowing me that well and keep the laughs coming forever okay? I want to be 80 years old giggling at the sight of your frail, wrinkly, old, musty hands coming at me for a good tickle :) love you.

shoes, mom, dad, and laughter...

im bad at this...

well, i think im pretty bad at blogging- but i am going to try and make a conscious effort to be better at it and post a few times a week....

This fall break was good- but needed to be longer. I spent a great time with some of my favorite girls friday night- Mir, Katie Carr, and TMot. I love them... I also got to see one of my new best friends, Katie Meehan, she is Mir's sister who I did summer staff with in August. She is one of my favorites and I always enjoy a good talk with her. I miss her- Lots.

Also this past weekend, my best friend, Caileigh, came to visit. It was the best. We have been best friends since 2nd grade, age 7, and nothing has been able to come between us. Not even a vast ocean of distance. When we were just finishing up 4th grade, Cail's dad was ordered via the US Navy to Italy. Well bummer, bc you're my best friend and we are inseparable. We keep in contact with letters and such during that long three years and until we knew it, 8th grade was rolling in and Cail (that is what I call her, and she calls me Al) moved back to "the states." We hung out every weekend- we didn't go to the same school- and everything blossomed again from there. Then her dad had a ladder accident, thank God he was okay, but he could no longer continue his contracting business. So he got a government job and just as freshman year of high school was hitting, Cail was moving to Maryland. We were heart broken. She had become my best friend again and I didn't want her to leave. However, it wasn't the end. We visited each other like crazy throughout high school- any type of break from school, we would visit. College came around and we chose different paths and it's been hard to visit each other as often as we used to. But we still do and it's NEVER awkward. You would think at first you'd need some time to warm up to one another and get a feel for it, but it's not like that with Cail. We just are and we pick up right where we left off. I love it. I love her. I love having her around and it's always depressing to see her leave, or when I go visit to have to leave. I just got her back and then poof, she's gone. But I know it's okay- because we'll have more visits. Even when I'm married- I know we'll go visit. Because i love her and she has always been there for me. I mean in my toughest times. I miss her like crazy and I really hope and pray the Lord and our circumstances will bring us to live in the same town and city and even neighborhood. We have a dream that our kids will be best friends- whether they like it or not. I truly hope that happens, and if it doesn't, that's okay too. We'll visit eachother. Wherever we are. I know it and I feel it. I miss her too much already. She is my MOH after all (: Love you Cail- you know you'll always be butterfly girl and Ill always be alley cat.

So when Cail got here saturday morning, we didn't waste time. My mom, my sister (the Matron of Honor), Cail (Maid of Honor), and I hit the dress shops. It was the best. I have to admit I was nervous at first! I felt like when I was in the gowns, I was going to break them somehow (how i do not know, they just seemed so fragile.) I found one I liked at the first shop- it was beautiful. I really really liked it. But we all decided that I needed to walk away and at least go look at the other place. After a lovely lunch at one of my personal favorites, the No Frill Grill, we headed to the second place. The service? Not as nice as the other place. Less personable, and friendly. It didn't seemed like they cared- so right off the bat I was turned off. I got into the rooms, got into the dresses and dress #2- I cried. DISCLAIMER: i am NOT  a cryer with sappy stuff like this. Im just not. I never have been- I mean I cry, but for other reasons. Not happy tears of a love movie. This dress, I envisioned myself walking down the "aisle" toward the love of my life. I envisioned his face and what it would be like to be in that moment. It was the one. I knew it- before you know it, everyone was crying- Cail who we have always said has leaky eyes, was really for real crying too. I loved it. We bought it. It's perfect and I want to show the whole world- but not until that day  :)

The rest of my fall break was perfect- spent quality much needed time with Cail and away from it all. We did what we do best- shopping duh.- and snagged some sweet deals in w-burg. Is Banana Republic our new favorite store? YES. DUH. we like to call it Naners.

Also- one more note- my dad started a blog and I can ensure you it is ten times better than mine- it's the sweetest so here's the link- make sure you click to follow him (and me too while you're at it!)

http://adreamforthem-fatherofthebride.blogspot.com/

im bad at this...

by Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face And the whole world is on your case I could offer you a warm embrace To make you feel my love When the evening shadows and the stars appear And there is no one there to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love I know you haven't made your mind up yet But i would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met No doubt in my mind where you belong I'd go hungry i'd go black and blue I'd go crawling down the avenue No there's nothing that i wouldn't do To make you feel my love The storms are raging on the rolling sea And on the highway of regret Though winds of change are blowing wild and free You ain't seen nothing like me yet I could make you happy make your dreams come true Nothing that i wouldn't do Go to the ends of the earth for you To make you feel my love

by Adele

screwed...

so, last night, a great guy from grassfield young life noticed as he was watching me back out to make sure i didn't hit the car next to me, that there was a screw- not a nail- a screw in my front passenger side tire. Thank goodness he noticed- or else I probably would have found myself stuck on the highway today with a flat tire. So, the plan was to take my mom's car to school. Well- so i got up this morning, rushed to get ready (i always rush bc im a procrastinator, and i underestimate the amount of time it will take me to get ready) and find myself, driving on 464, talking to Josh. He asks me, "so you're in your mom's car?" OOPS. I mean a BIG OOPS. Josh was NOT happy about that. It was a disaster- should i turn around? I was freaking out, Josh got really mad. You may think, why would he get so mad? Well- his anger was out of love- doesn't justify it- but it was loving. I know that- he was just so worried about if something happened, it could be really bad. I was crying- he was angry. Oh what a day. I decided to drive into Norfolk anyways- mind you going VERY  slow especially over pot holes (norfolk has a lot of roadway issues- construction and pot holes. not to mention bad drivers.) I dropped my car off at the University Car Care place in hopes that it could be fixed by 1 so I could leave to make it to grassfield at 2. Dropped it off on one side of campus- walked to the far end of the other (btw- i wore new heels today so i could head straight to the highschool for observations- those heels are being burnt tonight.) I was 20 minutes late for class- missed a ton. Took a quiz on things I didn't understand. Oh what a day- My car luckily was ready at 12:40. I drove to the school and just spent some relaxing- much needed time- with jesus. It was real and it was good. Josh texted me and apologized a bit ago for freaking me out. It's okay honey- it's all in a day. I secretly love that he was angry, i know he was just worried about me. but "I'm fine today." (Malibu anyone?) I think very few people will understand that joke- click here.

Love you J- thanks for caring that much...

screwed...

his leadership astounds me already...

It has been a long week for Josh and I. We have been having some real conversations. It has been rough- no one ever realizes how tough a relationship is until they fall in love and they become real. It's not all cake and frosting- relationships are real and hard- yet so so good. I have never met anyone who has loved me better than Josh has. He knows me so well, everything about me. Yet he loves m anyways and that's huge for me. It is such a good picture of how Jesus loves me- yet jesus loves me even better. It's all so real- I have issues of loneliness sometimes. We all have our fair share of problems, but this is by far my worst. Josh an I lead Young Life in Chesapeake. We commute over half an hour everyday to Norfolk to get to school. I still live with my parents. I went to community college for 2 years before ODU. I have not met a single friend because of college. Not like -most people- most people meet their best friends in college. Not me- and there are other leaders in Chesapeake. But to give you some figures- there are 10 male leaders for Chesapeake and about 5 in new leader training. It will give us 15 male leaders and there are only 4 of us girls. My point is that i have not made any friends in college- and there are only 3 other girl leaders, one of which just moved here. Libby used to lead too- it is extremely hard though now that she has cancer. I have hardly any girl community here. I never just go hang out with my friends. I can't- i barely have any. My best friend, Caileigh, has always lived far away from me. We have lived in the same place 4/13 years of knowing her. I don't mean to say that the girl leaders in Chesapeake aren't my friends- they definitely are. I just feel so alone sometimes- in fact- almost all of the time. this affects Josh and my relationship a lot. I do things to "gain his attention" and it's frustrating. Josh confronted me last night and we had a really hard yet really good talk. I needed to hear some stuff- I need to be actively involved in changing this or nothing will ever happen. I need to give this to jesus and let him take it. I need to have some conversations in order to change this heavy feeling in my heart. I only have 2 years left in Chesapeake- will i waste it? The title of my favorite blog is "don't waste your cancer." I cannot help but think that I am sitting here wasting my life! This is what Josh was telling me- I cannot tell you how cool it was to see him leading me in this. I cannot wait to see him lead our family and to see us grow like this more. I feel like a weight has been lifted off- Ive got to let this go and live for christ like never before.

Thank you J- you know me best.

his leadership astounds me already...

i don't think it's healthy...

okay so right now- i am having a color crisis. yup. prob not healthy for my mind but it's true. do i really want a grey/blue bedroom? do i really want a grey/yellow wedding... why these 2nd thoughts? is this normal- hummmm... thoughts anyone?

i don't think it's healthy...

rainy days in september...

so i love the rain... really i do. everyone i feel like always complains that it's too rainy but i can't get enough of it. Something about curling up with a good book (the Bible perhaps) and then watching a movie.

Today, Josh and I ate lunch with my Dad. He loves me so much- I just know it. He is so interested in the wedding stuff, i feel like "normal" dads only look at the bills. But it's more than that for him. He is curious, and wants the world for his baby girl during this time. He is so giving and caring- Love you daddy. Know Ill always be your "squeaky-pippin'-himer."

After lunch, we went to target and bed, bath, and beyond to look around and register. We are still decided on a lot of stuff, but got some done today. Maybe it's a little early for that but the thought of having our own place excites us to no end. I love decorating and while I know Josh is pretty easy-going, he genuinely tries to care and gives his opinions and i love that about him. Really, he is just so amazing. Did Josh really care about what towels to hang to match the curtain we picked? No, not really. But he gave an opinion and he didn't complain that we were shopping for over 2 hours. It was such a sweet time for us.

We went to his house after stopping at the Carr's to get my rain jacket I left last night. I love the way their house smells, their mom (their as in John (Josh's best friend), Katie (legit girl-love her), and Chris(he is funny)) is a good cook, and is always whipping something up. At Josh's I cut up paint swatches and put color combinations together for: the wedding, our future bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room. I feel very accomplished about that. It was a good night- despite the flooding of hampton roads. I just still love the rain and lazy days like today.

rainy days in september...

2 weeks...

Hard to believe that it's been 2 weeks already... things are moving pretty quickly! We have tons of idea and know a lot of the major details.We visited our first venue friday and we're proud to say it's the last! We absolutely fell in love with it. It's near the water, it's got tons of charm and history and it's just perfect for us! So we're really excited about it. It is in Manteo OBX NC. Where the Lost Colony was. It is in the historic downtown area about a block from the water. It's called the Budleigh...

 http://108budleigh.homestead.com/

2 weeks...

misconceptions..

Well, my future husband said to me that on more than one occasion guys have said that they want to go surfing with Josh before he is a married man because he won’t be able to after he is married. Bologna. Ha- seriously though- I LOVE that Josh surfs. He loves it, it’s one of his passions. I would never want to take that away from him. So- just so everyone knows- life after we’re married will definitely be different, but no worries, a ton of things can never be changed :)

misconceptions..

the ring

Okay so i love my ring- seriously in love with it. It took a week to get it back because I had to get it re-sized. I have tiny fingers- well tiny as in skinny but they’re long. So it’s finally on my ring finger and I love it. 

We are headed somewhere Friday to look at a ceremony/reception site- So excited. Praying that comes through and that we love it. As of right now the number one question is: “When is it.” Well- depends on the venue of course. But to answer the question- mid-july. Most likely (if venue comes through) July 17th- a very familiar date for myself and Josh’s family. It’s Josh birthday- which is funny. We are so excited though!

Also- praise to God that we found a couple to do our marriage counseling! A sweet couple from the Young Life committee as generously agreed to help us through this “getting married” process. He used to be a pastor and they are experienced in doing marriage counseling, plus she is the sweetest women ever! Do excited and So thankful to them and to Ryder who suggested it and set us up for that. 

Thanks for all the congrats, and im sure well update this soon!

the ring

engagement

Friday September 10th, 2010 will always be dear to my heart… This is when Josh proposed. It was so sweet and thoughtful- he really did shock me. Josh and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. We love the beach- thats where we found our love for one another. We have always planned on going to see the sunrise, but our schedules always conflict. So we decided to go last Friday morning. Josh took me up to 79th street, the North End of VA Beach. We sat on a random sailboat and watched the sunrise. It was the first time I had ever seen it and it was gorgeous. After snagging some pictures, Josh read me a letter he had written. I love letters- they are my absolute favorite. We got up to take a walk and found this bottle in the sand. I thought it was the coolest thing ever- still oblivious to everything he had planned. I opened it up and inside it had a note that said “Allison- Will you marry me?” I looked up in shock and he had gotten on his knee and pulled out a ring. I didn’t say anything for 10 seconds- which is funny now looking back. I said yes and he put the ring on. It was on of the most exciting moments of my life! After that we sat and talked for a bit and just enjoyed the time- we took some pictures. We went to eat breakfast at Pocahontas Pancakes down at the oceanfront, which I highly recommend. It was delicious. I’ll never forget it- He put so much thought into it all. He even googled how to make a piece of paper look “old timey.” Which is apparently a long process! That is the story- and from here it can only go up.

Here are some pictures... I cannot explain our excitement and joy. What a gift-

engagement