college- i hate that i hate it.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

So i have wanted to blog lately- ive thought about it for a couple days.... i thought... what should i blog about? my life isnt that cool- but it is. bc Christ leads it so here i am... blogging.

this week has been hard to say the least. ive gotten some midterm tests back and they havnt been that great- i mean, it hasnt been awful, but you know when youre thinking "oh i have this class in the bag... nbd." then you get the grade back and its disappointing. im doing a mediocre job in my classes, and thats not okay. i have to do more- i cannot afford to retake anything or have a low gpa. i wont stand for it. microeconomics is KILLING me. i mean literally- my professor is just awful, the class itself and the material are awful. its double awful and its extremely hard- im a history major for a reason. math and business stuff does not compute in my head.... like at all. So that midterm was the worst- and so was the grade. However- on a good note, i met with my TA and my grade was above the average grade... that just goes to show the works of the professor. So im staying put and i just received todays quiz grade back... 100%. see? improvement already. let's just hope and pray for an A on this next test!

Also- met with my advisor yesterday afternoon and found out im taking a class that i didnt even need. it wont go toward anything. you have no idea how angry this makes me... like im so mad. over the summer, ODU was in the process of switching history academic advisors and what not. I saw two different advisors in 2 weeks and neither of them could have told me that the class i signed up for was a waste of my time and money? no. so, i have to work hard in the class so it just goes toward my gpa. The worse news? this may have just set me back a semester. the plan- our plan, is warped. i know jesus is in this but its extremely hard to deal with the fact. i dont want to be in college. i hate college. most people love college- the fun the friends. but i dont have a fun college life with friends that ill have for life. it wasnt in the cards for me and is extremely hard to deal with- but i do. so for me college is just school, classes, tests, pens, and pencils. nothing good or fun. just a peice of paper that will tell people "give me money bc i paid and worked my way through college." i hate that about college- but i do it anyway. so someone telling me that it may cost me another semester because of someones careless mistakes and misguidance makes me so furious.

i trust jesus though- i really do. joshs reaction was so sweet- he calmed me down and said "if we have to live here for another year, then thats okay. well be together and well be okay. jesus has our plan.... lets just go with it." youre right j- i know you are. so thanks for leading me like that...

side note: i carpooled to school with josh monday, totally forgetting about my tb test result read at 1pm. so i missed it bc i cant drive stick and josh had to go to class.... so another go around friday. well see how it goes this time.
also- Libby, one of my dearest friends with lymphoma got some awesome pet scan results back- chemo is responding extremely well in her body! praise jesus!!!

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