TB & date night...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

well- friday was an interesting day for me. i had my classes and then had to go to the dr to get a tb/ppd test. nbd right? well not for me i guess. i don't like shots- i never have, i always put up a fight. but ive been learning to suck it up. so i go to the lab and the lady has the "stuff" all set out. i tell her "i dont really like shots, but i know this isnt really even a real one- it just goes under your skin right?" she said yes and got started. it didnt hurt- just a little pinch and 5 seconds later it was over. i said "not too bad" as soon as i uttered those words she asks "are you alright?" my face went flush. uhhhh- no....  i felt so weird and dizzy all of a sudden- i wanted to throw up. if i had of eaten lunch im sure i would have. my breathing started to become really heavy- i get panic attacks too, so this was kind of familiar- but the dizziness and tightness i felt was not familiar. a nurse came in and my blood pressure had shot down- way down. the wheeled me to another room- monitored my blood pressure and gave me a freezie-pop. yumm- she even got my fav color. josh told me earlier that he had to lay don after his too and he got a popsicle too. so i sent him a pic- i look pitiful- but i knew that josh loves my pitiful face. he calls me pitiful all the time- which is ironic. when i was little, my mom called me her pita. cute right? a little nickname for her baby girl. i used this nickname to sign all my cards. i loved it- my sister was jealous of my nickname. well- when i was 16, i found out where the name came from. its not pita- its p.i.t.a. it stands for something- pain in the a**. yup- that was my nickname bc i was the worst little baby ever. its okay- ive learned to embrace it and josh will make fun of it a lot- which is funny bc i know that sometimes i really am a p.i.t.a. movie quotes are pretty dumb and cliche i know- but this reminds me of one of my fav movies the notebook.Noah: "You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b**** and I tell you when you are a pain in the a**. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing."

i love you J- thanks for putting up with my crazy little self- even when im a bbb :)

Me eating my freezie pop.... yumm :)

So last night, Josh and I went on a date. a real date. like he picked me up, went to dinner, dropped me off the whole shabang. it was so good- we havnt done that in forever it feels like. we are two very busy people. so he got off of work and we went to dinner. now most people on a date will go to a fancy sit down restaurant. not us- we went to el poyo loco. the crazy chicken. its a mexican flame grilled chicken fast food place. so so good- i love that about us. i was content going there too- i mean not to say i would mind p.f. changs once in a while but this is our place. we love going to va beach and grabbing the chicken tacos and churros. we save money- eat food we love- and just can be together. after dinner we went to the beach. we went to the 1st street jetty and sat on our rock. we sat on this rock 2 years before talking about us and how we have developed feelings for eachother. its where we had our first kiss- i love it there. we havn't really been back there for a long while- maybe even since then. it was nice to sit and talk and be in the familiar of when we first started dating. it was getting pretty chilly (i was freezing- josh was chilly) we drove to strawbridge movie theater and saw the social network. great movie btw. we smuggled in frosted animal crackers, take 5, and chocolate milk... delicious. the night was perfect.

when we got to my house- we had a real hard conversation. one of the most real ones in a while. i won't disclaim all over the internet everything about it- but i will share this. when i was in high school- i had this idea of love. i thought that love should be easy. it come naturally and it is effortless. i should love him and he should love me and it should be painless and easy. it's not. love takes work. it's easy to plant a seed but in order for it to grow- you have to nurture it. there may be dry seasons too- where youre in love but you dont feel in love. its a hard realization. you think you know someone- but you never really do. i realize that as life goes on- i will always always always be learning about josh. dont get me wrong- love is amazing. really it is- i couldnt imagine not being in love anymore. ill always love josh- no matter what. i just mean that its not movie savvy- its real life and it takes time and work to grow and work on love. its so worth it too- the pay off is amazing. josh loves me so well and i feel like i do too- its just a matter of continuing to learn new ways to love and how to better the other ways. i love josh with all of my heart- i know i could live life without him and be okay bc i have jesus- but it wouldnt feel right without him. i love you josh- glad we can be real and honest with each other.


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