Monday, August 29, 2011

i might post another wedding post soon. but my heart is not in the right place for that now so i wont. this week starts the business, so well see. classes start wednesday. yippee.

josh and i evacuated for hurricane irene. we were advised to by parents, sisters, and the city of norfolk. so we did. it did not seem to be as bad as they had expected. josh and i didnt really want to go. we love storms. and rain. but we listened to the evacuation and left for waynesboro. we stayed with our sister, brother, & niece- joshs side. it was a good stay. very relaxing. we sleep in late. watched free willy, sweet home alabama, & billy madison. oh and about all the weather channel we could get.... a lot. just listening to the updates and watching some poor guy on the obx get whipped with debris the majority of the day on saturday.  ate our favorite ice cream- well my favorite lately is ben & jerrys chunky monkey. a little obsession lately. we napped and played with emma and just soaked in the laziness. when i look back it sucked being out of the storm, but so good to catch up with family and not to be stuck in a non air conditioned apartment where the transformer box outside our windows could come ripping in at any moment. other than some leakage from the windows everything seemed to be okay here at our home. which we are LOVING. seriously love living in the "city" (ghent isnt really a city, but lots of shops and restaurants we can walk to, and its right next to downtown so we get a city view all the time) i will post pictures when i can. bc it is looking cute here.

looking at the start of this school year, i am afraid. ryder & libby are moving and it is all really sudden. and i feel a lot of pressure to lead well. ryder is nonstop leading, its his job. his presence at grassfield was everywhere. i felt like he was always the backbone to our team. and now our team looks different and i am scared. i like change- but not when it comes to this kind of thing. libby is leaving. her being one of the few friends i have here. it is especially hard. i am taking that part the worst. our community is going to look so different. i do not think it will look bad, but different. i am afriad this semester. i am taking 18 credits. i am leading as the only girl on our team with a club of 100. i will certanily be busy. but i am mostly afraid of being alone. it is already setting in. tears stream down my face. i know i know, i am married now so its different. but given everything from my past, i am more afraid than ever of going down the dark alley of loneliness again. like my freshman year of college. no friends. just an empty heart. i can only pray now that God will strengthen my weakness and surprise me. maybe i will be lonely, but maybe he wants me to rely on him. solely. maybe that is what i will learn. whatever his plan is, i have faith that it will be okay. it will probably be hard and confusing. but i trust him. even in circumstances id rather not be in. my circumstances will not rule me. i refuse.

my current read: Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. loving it. a lot.


whats it like?

Monday, August 22, 2011

i am going to pause the wedding posts to talk about some stuff on my heart.

josh has been gone since 330am friday morning. saying goodbye to him was a blur... if you know my sleeping habits you know i am not the most delightful person to wake up... i sometimes am not conscious. i awoke every hour after that until 8 rolls by and i can no longer sleep. luckily one of my best friends katie hardy came over for a little ride on the tide. we spent the majority of the day together and saw "the help", a great movie very eye opening. i was distracted but when it came to get ready for bed i turned the lights off and cried. a lot. i did not know what it was like to truly miss my husband until then. i only missed him briefly during his work hours. it was weird. and a weird feeling. ever since i got married- almost a month ago- people ask me what its like. most of my friends are not married. i did not know how to explain it. i still dont. it almost felt like it wasnt real. like josh and i were playing house and we would return to the dating life soon. in my head of course i knew this was not the case- we were one and joined together forever. but it didnt feel like it was really happening. i think it is because of a few reasons.
1. i dont deserve it. im 20. i shouldnt be married. i dont deserve him. im still that lonely girl in high school. im still immature and useless to the world. im not pretty enough. im not good enough.... i realize these are all lies. but if we are being honest, i have a shattered self confidence that God and I are trying to put together but it takes time. a lot of time and patience and it is very fragile. so that thought would run through my head.
2. i was planning this for so long. and then in one day it all changes. you wait so long and plan so much for this one day, it doesnt seem real once it is over.
3. (this one hit me just today) you expect it to be like the movies. like youre life is what it is and youre waiting to be this person and meet this person that will change your life like a whirlwind. and in the movie that one day it changes everything. this one pivital part changes it all. but its a lie. i got married. it was the best day ever. the most beautiful day i could have imagined. but life goes on. and it does change. i live with a boy now in ghent on the 3rd floor. and thats the change. but im still me. im still broken and sinful me. i didnt become some married goddess. im still ally.

i think this idea is shoved in our heads that things will "only be better if [fill in the blank]" but its not true. things are different and things are sweeter but the world does not all of sudden become this phenomenal place because your wedding day has passed and youre married. i sound cynical-i know it. but there has been this part of me, this sadness since my wedding that i couldnt pin-point. not until now. and i think that the above is all why. because people continue to ask me "what is it like" as if it were supposed to be some magical fairy-tale. its no cinderella story. its just two people, two sinners thriving and trying to make it as one. and let me tell you it is beautiful. read my previous post about marriage. i love josh. that first night without him. once the lights turned out. i knew i was married because i missed him more than i thought possible. i was homesick.

with that all said, i am more excited than ever to have josh home again. to be with him. to stop thinking that marriage was the end all be all of my life. i have far more adventures to have with josh. far more journeys and paths to wonder with him. and that excites me more than ever. our life is crazy. our story is crazy. but it is ours and the wedding day was just a piece of the story. it continues on now. forever.

the ceremony.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

wow. where do i start? i have so much to say.

our dear friend, mentor, area director, all of the above, justin ryder married us. what an honor it was to have him do that for us. it was his first wedding and it was absolutely beautiful. ran perfectly and so smoothly. i approached the alter and the music stopped. sniffles and tears came from everywhere- so many happy tears. ryder said the welcome and prayed. josh and i were able to craft the ceremony exactly as we wanted with the help of ryder. one of the things we wanted for the ceremony is to set apart ourselves and exalt God above all. in our ceremony programs it read on page one, one of our favorite verses that we also included on our invitations and a little message josh and i wrote together. it read:

"for this is how we know what love is:
jesus christ laid down his life for us." 1 John 3:18
dear guests- we recognize that our love for each other is rooted in the love of Jesus Christ. without Him, we would not know love at all. we feel very deeply for each other and yearn to know jesus more as we start our new life together. we ask that you pray that we never forget where our love comes from and that we would continue to give our lives to Jesus every day. our hope for our lives is that the love of Christ would compel us to love God, love each other, and to love people. thank you so much for joining us on our wedding day. we hope that this day will be a reflection of the marriage of God to his people.
in Christ,
j & a

josh and i knew we wanted the ceremony to be about us being joined together as one, but wanted that to be focused on the love of Christ as well. we know that marriage is a symbol of how God loved us and how Jesus gave himself for us. it is truly such a beautiful picture. we as the bride- holy and blameless because of what jesus did. thats why the bride wears white. how beautiful that we will one day be presented to God in a perfect way such as that. i think that is part of the reason why i was so emotional as i put on my dress. i knew it was the post perfect and clean thing i would ever wear.

so as the we worshipped and sang "in christ alone"- it was beautiful. simply and elegantly beautiful to come to the alter to the man i love and to sing to to the God i love. it set the tone and the mood for the entire ceremony. it wasnt about josh and i. it was about what God had done to put us together and how graceful he was to join us in those moments. so my dad gave me away and put my hands into joshs. a familiar place that i love. ryder read the decleration of intent- which in a nutshell was reading the meaning of marriage. libby read scripture that Josh and I picked out.

Philippians 2:1-11
1So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,[a] 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the form of aservant,[b] being born in the likeness of men. 8And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

we wanted it to be a reminder to josh and i to humble ourselves before Christ and each other- to always remember that we put each other before ourselves. then ryder wrote some words to us which were absolutely beautiful and perfect. vows. rings. we're married. first act of marriage. prayer. benediction. smooches. mr & mrs josh & ally henderson.

it was all perfect. and i felt the Lord's presence more than i ever have in my life. jesus was all over that day and especially that hour. i will blog more about specific parts of the ceremony that meant so much to us. but for now i will end on this. marriage is beautiful. it is a covenant between two people and God. to love and honor and respect each other forever. it is binding. when i was little, one of the things i remember my dad specifically teaching me was to never break a promise. ever. i  remember this distinctly. certain instances of him telling me this. i remember asking my mom who her best friend was and she said my dad. i told her that boys cant be best friends. not true. josh is my best friend. he knows me in and out. we made a promise that day to uphold that friendship (which on that day became a marriage) to the highest extent. i meant every second of that day and i will forever. i have never known jesus as intimately as i do now since marriage. what a blessing. i pray and i know that the learning will continue. that day was so full. full of love, laughter, tears, smiles, jesus. everything. it was perfect. i wouldn't change anything. and that is how it should be.


walking down the aisle.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

i began at the top of the stair case- a beautiful entry for any bride. my dad on my right. flowers in my left. and tears swelling in my eyes. along with a smile, contagious i would think. my eyes were gazed forward. i was concentrating on not tripping- walking up and down the stairs was hard. but i looked over and saw all my family and friends. the attention was all on me. i did not mind though which typically i would. i get shy in the center of attention but not today. i was looking for his gaze. i wanted to see him. i had a first glance but could not see his face until i turned the corner and there he stood. tears in his eyes. trying to hold them back. i couldn't though. tears everywhere. good tears. such good tears. thank goodness for my handkerchief. there were over 150 people in the room. but it was just us for a moment. our eyes fixated on each is hard to even explain what i felt in that moment. i was nervous of course. but as soon as i saw josh the nerves went away. i knew in my head that this was the greatest moment i would ever know. in this moment when i look back, i think of myself walking into the marriage with God and his people. i am the people. Jesus is the groom. and i am truly going to a place of peace. and that is the feeling i remember the most as i walked down the stairs to the left into the beautiful grand wooden ceiling room. peace. peace over came me. a peace i cannot explain. i approached the alter josh and i made together. it was perfect and beautiful and hand crafted with love. and we looked at each other and i mouthed to josh "i love you" he said it back. the lighting was perfect. the sun was setting into the room perfectly. and i felt the Lord's presence. peace. peace. peace. it was everywhere. it was as if for that moment in time, there was a peace in the world not seen since before the fall. when times were blissful and filled with splendor and God was ever present. it was like that, if only for a moment. genuinely peaceful.

the hour before i said i do.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

after bride & groom, bridal party, & family pictures, josh and i departed into our own separate rooms. i tried to relax and enjoy my last hour as being single. luckily, the first glance really did relax me a ton. i felt at peace. that last hour was so sweet. i was starving. my mom and sister ran around looking for lunch options for us girls earlier that day and it was apparently not an easy task- but what a blessing that was after, so thank you a million times mom & ash. i scarfed down 1/4 of a turkey sandwich. and two pickles. not sure if anyone got a picture of that. but i imagine it was quite funny. i had katie meehans button down shirt on like a child's paint smock, a sweatshirt covering the bottom of the gown. and a napkin wrapped around a pickle, leaning over to make sure not to get evern close to the dress- just chowing down. i couldnt eat the entire weekend but after seeing josh and sharing that moment- i needed some food. so pickles it was. and they were delicious. i ate a breath mint and went to the bathroom. that was also funny. we just lifted up the dress and it was not really a big issue. im sure if my dress were a ball gown, it would have been harder, but it wasn't at all (sorry if that is tmi, but i always wondered about that so i figured i'd let the secret out) and then the hour went by fast. guest started to arrive i was told. so the girls prayed over me. which was so sweet and meaningful. and then it was time. no not time to walk down the aisle just yet. time to let loose and dance one last single dance before i wed. and so hit the music. of course i danced to dynamite. what else would i have chose? dynamite is a special song for me. really special. last august at summer staff, everyone danced to it. i mean everyone, and it had special choreographed moves during the chorus. and at saranac we danced to it countless times a day. in the kitchen. in the dining hall. in the boat house. in the shower. in the store. at the beach. everyone i mean- work crew, camp staff, & summer staff. after almost every meal especially. i love that song and it reminds me that in this life, there is always joy. god gave us music and dancing as a gift and i will not waste that. & i didnt. so i taught the bridesmaids that didnt know it the dance. and it was also one of my favorite moments of the day. after the dance, it i looked at the clock and it was 3:53. 7 minutes. the girls left and my dad came in. another special moment. he told me this- word for word "on your mother and my wedding day, i told her she never looked more beautiful. and i will tell you the same thing- you have never looked more beautiful ally" my dad is a tear jerker with words. i said "daddy, dont make me cry and we hugged." libby came in, & it was time. i couldnt breathe- literally, the nerves overtook me. then i remembered josh's sweet voice and arms that held me through some of the toughest times of my life. i remembered his smile and the way he tickles me when i am mad. and how patient he is. and remembered that he is my best friend and today i start forever with him. i almost forgot the flowers. so my dad grabbed them and i heard the music change. i began the walk down the stair case- toward home.

here is the dynamite song.
susta- if you read this. do me a favor and play this song and dance. 
right now. no matter where you are. love you.


first glance.

Friday, August 12, 2011

things have been busy around apartment 10B lately. getting set up is no easy task. it requires lots of trips to the trash cans. and tons of energy. and patience of course. but we are almost settled. hanging up pictures and art work everywhere truly makes a home a home. without a doubt. it is refreshing. we also got curtains which makes everything better- especially with these white walls. a little dilemma though. i finally found these green & white canvas dimask curtains for our bedroom. they are funky. and dont quite match the shams we have. but i dont think they are supposed to... i am not a fan mitch-matchy things anyway- not for myself not in this time. i like a little thrifty look. almost all my frames came from thrift stores- the nicer wedding photo ones though came from tjmaxx.... i love that store. anyways- the curtains..... i cannot tell how i really feel about them. i think i love them- but i do not want people to come in and think "those curtains are way too much and do not match." why should i care what others think? i do not know. but i do. & if we're being real everyone does. i am not a funky person. i love coastal living magazine & pottery barn looks. but i also love anthropologie- a more urban funky look. my bedroom and maybe my kitchen is all anthro. but the living room and bathroom are defiantly thrifty pottery barn (my apartment would never be featured in pottery barn of course... its got a thriftyer side...) anyways. any thoughts on these curtains? (sorry again about the picture quality... lighting is way off too)

amazing headboard. just painted those letters the other day with katie carr. pictures still need to be hung... dont judge.

here they are side by side. too funky?

now onto another detail of the wedding:
josh and i were insistent from the start on not seeing each other until i walked down the aisle. until about a week before the wedding when we realized all the benefits to doing a "first glance" and taking most of the pictures before-hand. a "first glance" is a fancy way of saying the bride walks up to the groom before and they see each other for the first time on their wedding day. so i got all ready. put on my shoes (which were the prettiest wedding shoes i have ever seen.... they were ta-dow.i think i am allowed to brag about that) anyways. my bridesmaids escorted me to the manteo waterfront where josh was waiting, back turned. i hid behind a big bush around the corner to make sure he didnt accidently turn around and see me. i kept peeping out. i could see through the bush the green park benches lining the giant dock around the harbor. the boats with their sails drawn docked along the dock. the beautiful lighthouse in the background. i smelled the salty air all around me and it was then that i new i was about to go home- to josh. i started crying. then the head nod from the photographer. wow i was nervous as i walked down. jitters. butterflies- the best kind of butterflies there are. way better than the ones i had when we first started dating. i was so anxious. i do not know my pace... but i think it was fastish. he looked good from behind. real good. i couldnt wait to see his trimmed beard and adorable suit from the front- those suits were rockin. and then i approached him. tapped him on the shoulder and before i could even blink he turned around and squeezed me so hard. we were sobbing- i am not sure i have ever sobbed and smiled at the same time... not sure what that looked like. ive cried and smiled. but i mean we were sobbing. i cannot explain to you how that felt. how intimate it was. seeing my groom in that moment. [it is the closest thing i will ever feel to what it will be like when i hug jesus for the first time. wow that gives me chills. that day i will be wearing that dress. and meeting the lover of my soul.] josh and i stood there holding each other for a minute. he finally let go and looked at me. he said "you look so pretty." i said "you look so handsome. i love you." he really was so handsome. so glad we did grey suits- black in the summer can be so harsh, especially on a sunny day near the beach. and the tie was perfect  i honestly do not know how i would have walked down the aisle without the first glance- all i would want to do is hug him. i never felt closer to josh before that moment. it will forever be in my heart. by far- one of my favorite moments of the day. not to mention how relaxed i was after that- i was so tense before. it was almost a little affirmation for what was to come & a line from our favorite song- its just you and me.and were marrying each other today and every day for the rest of our lives.

we took our portraits after. and so far- we love. we cant wait to get the rest back. i promise i will get them on here as soon as i can.... photographry cannot be rushed- especially from fine photographers like ours. it'd be like rushing leanardo da vinci or van gogh. more to come soonish.

good morning bride.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

i sleep well the night before. everyone was wrong- i had read blogs about how you wont sleep. i did.... like a rock in fact. i needed it too. i woke up at 645. and laid there. wondering if this was real. this hotel room. this day. that dress hanging over there. it was. the hair dresser came and started on my hair. i ate some bagel. she roller set it. so in the end i looked like a 1920's show girl or something... but then i let loose. and savannah (my sweet little niece) showed up and hugged me. she was holding her own polar bear. how sweet. then caileigh turned on the jams. nsync and bsb. i danced to the music videos. that was much needed. then i got really tense. and was grumpy. telling everyone to be quiet i needed some time. (sorry girls for being so sassy)... so i wrote a letter. to josh. in the notebook of letters i had started writing him in 2009- but never gave him until the wedding day. july 24 2011. what do i say? i sat in the window seat crying. tears of joy. thinking back to all my favorite memories we have together. many of which i skipped i am sure- there were too many.... ill post that list one day perhaps.

everyone left the hotel room. and caileigh came to escort me to the budleigh where we would continue to get ready. i made her call three times to make sure josh was gone. i was feisty about that. and apparently i found out later from josh he was the same way with john carr- one of his best men. i walked up stairs and laid down on the floor while lauren was working on hair and the other girls were all just relaxing. "wow.... this is it. this is happening." i cannot explain to you how nervous i was feeling. the decor was looking AWESOME though. can i just side note and say that my wedding decor was the best ever? seriously. it was the coolest thing to see the vision in your head come to life. the crafting (there were lots... and lots....) it would not have happened without five lovely ladies who tackled it all. i will blog about them later though.
everything was surreal. it was all coming together. in my letter i wrote josh i said "its stupid how the bride and groom cant see each other until the ceremony. bc all i want to do is hug you and kiss you and see you right now." it was so true. that is all i wanted. i was so tense. the day went on and lauren eventually started on my hair. i was nervous more than ever now. just the type of thing that would cause one of my panic attacks. so right on cue as the photographer shows up- i begin to have one. i think that is when it felt most real and that is why. i typically get those so it wasn't a huge thing really. but i settled down. and the show went on. my hair was finished and the make-up began. it was happening. i was getting ready to be mrs.henderson.

the dress. it was time. we grabbed the dress and i undressed... which is kinda weird bc everyone is looking at you... but i was helped into it. it was zip up so not a long process. i cried so hard once it was on. it felt real again. there were tears everywhere. i was helped into my shoes and put my earrings on. i walked over to the mirror and cried with a huge smile. dang that dress looked good. i was so ready to see josh. i was about to be mrs. henderson and i could not believe it. it was all so real and yet surreal. girls think about this day for so long and you never actually feel like you are close to it. it all seems so distant. but this day was here. it was not distant at all. but it felt like it should be so it was a weird feeling. i had my wedding dress on. my dress. it was my turn that day. i asked for my flowers and we got the phone call that it was time to leave. time to go see josh.... breathe ally breathe...

the rehearsal dinner.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

the rehearsal dinner was perfect. i mean that seriously. mrs. cindy, my mother-in-law, was somehow able to pull off the perfect rehearsal being across the pond. it went so well. we couldn't rehearse the wedding at the budleigh- there was a wedding the day before- so we practiced in the yard of these three cottages the henderson family was staying at. the rehearsal dinner was there outside under a tent and was beautiful. the food was joshs absolute favorite- bbq. and was to die for. he found his new favorite beer too.

i was so nervous that day. i remember feeling so much anxiety that day about everything. when stef arrived at the bridal brunch tea party thing she must have noticed that in my  eyes. the stress and anxiety. so she quick prayed for me and it was such a beautiful moment- one of my many favorites of the weekend. it helped to calm my nerves. i sat in the hotel room, wrote my vows and began to put on make-up i normally do not wear. put up my hair. tried to breathe. all weekend the whole thought that kept running through my head was "is this really happening? this is my wedding weekend? no way. im 20. this is unreal." literally it felt like a little dream and i was going to wake up soon.... but i never did because it was real. i remember as i was writing my vows- thank you so much caileigh & katie hardy for giving me some peace for a while.... much needed. during that time i broke down. crying. i do not completely know why. everything was getting to me. so i read some scripture and prayed. and then asked God to give me the words to say to josh. and he did. wow- i mean i dont mean to boast but i loved my vows.

so i put on my cute dress i ordered way back in winter from modcloth. put on my grey toms wedges. thought in my head "wow al, you look super cute. what a great outfit you picked out... wait... this is your rehearsal dinner. ohmy...." and we all drove to the rehearsal together... tight squeeze. funny though. the whole rehearsal was planned SO well. ryder and katie hackett you made it PERFECT. and without a flaw. thank you so much. i am so loved.

then the guests started to arrive and josh and i started with some food. delicious like i said. dinner was great seeing all my family and family-to-be (family includes my friends that were there) come together and be together. it was hot and i was nervous still. kait and steve made this slideshow for josh and i and it was so perfect. we were some cute kids. and then open toasts. thank you everyone. josh and i truly felt so loved. thank you mom & dad henderson for planning this. it was perfect. and then...

the boys brought out a surprise for josh & i. a surfboard. not just any surfboard. a longboard. something josh has talked about getting in the future so he can teach me and teach our future children. you see- josh has two boards. but they are short and very difficult to learn to ride on. so i never have. and the best part? it was shaped and made especially for us. 9 foot. something special about the nose too. the fin on it. what a gift. what a joy. what a special moment that was to see the excitement on his face. he was seriously so joyous and excited- you boys will not know. i loved it too and cant wait to be able to ride it. thank you guys so much for coordinating that. it made us feel so loved. more than you'll know.

the rehearsal came to a close and we got attacked by a swarm of mosquitos. the sweet sweet groom found some cortizone cream and helped the bride (that was me!) and everyone just hung out for a while. but josh and i were able to snag some alone time. much needed. i will never be able to share the emotions and what we said to each other. but i can tell you it will be one of my most cherished memories ever. i love that boy more than anyone will ever know. thanks for a last day of dating everyone.... i was about to get hitched.

MOH & jimmy, B & G

our last picture together before the wedding day.


i am mrs. henderson

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

wow- it has been so long since i have blogged. so sorry. but we just got our internet at the apartment. so i changed my name on facebook. and now i am on this blog.

wow. where do i start? i have ten million things to say. the week before. thank yous. the wedding. josh. the moment we saw each other. our vows. washing our feet. our first kiss. favorite moments of the day. the honeymoon. our new home. so ill start from the beginning. i wont promise ill blog everyday- things are crazy. but i will post on fb every time i have a new post.

the week before the wedding. my parents got a beach house in avon, nc. i did wedding things every day. my family came. oh it was so joyous to see them. my cousin melissa her hubby ian and their two sons ethan and ryan. then my uncle bob and cousin bobby. they are all a crazy hill family rag tag crew. and we drank boons farm. went to the beach. built sand castles with the kids (okay maybe it was just bobby and i...) but i loved every second of them being there. caileigh and josh too. it was so much fun. i love family. i never see them. its sad because i love them so much. you truly feel at home and at peace when family is near. and i was oddly calm the whole week before the wedding. my family was there helping me and just being around them was such a joy.

friday caileigh and i headed to manteo to check into our AMAZING hotel. (thank you ten million times over mom and dad.) things got a little crazy that day and the nerves set in. marraige in two days. this whole things ive been planning for months on end is happening two days. i started to feel sick and my appetite was gone. i was hungry- starving- but could not eat but a few bites. it was strange. josh left friday night to head to norfolk to take the PRAXIS II on saturday moring. that made things crazy. but he did it. wow i am so proud of him.

i threw a bridal brunch for my friends & bridesmaids helping/being a part of the wedding. it was alice in wonderland themed. i thought of the idea and my mom ran with it. it turned out so great. the food was delicious and it was so lovely. hope you like your gifts girls- you deserve so much more.

that is all for now. everything else deserves its own special post. so i will stop here and hopefully snag some time tomorrow for another.

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