good morning bride.

i sleep well the night before. everyone was wrong- i had read blogs about how you wont sleep. i did.... like a rock in fact. i needed it too. i woke up at 645. and laid there. wondering if this was real. this hotel room. this day. that dress hanging over there. it was. the hair dresser came and started on my hair. i ate some bagel. she roller set it. so in the end i looked like a 1920's show girl or something... but then i let loose. and savannah (my sweet little niece) showed up and hugged me. she was holding her own polar bear. how sweet. then caileigh turned on the jams. nsync and bsb. i danced to the music videos. that was much needed. then i got really tense. and was grumpy. telling everyone to be quiet i needed some time. (sorry girls for being so sassy)... so i wrote a letter. to josh. in the notebook of letters i had started writing him in 2009- but never gave him until the wedding day. july 24 2011. what do i say? i sat in the window seat crying. tears of joy. thinking back to all my favorite memories we have together. many of which i skipped i am sure- there were too many.... ill post that list one day perhaps.

everyone left the hotel room. and caileigh came to escort me to the budleigh where we would continue to get ready. i made her call three times to make sure josh was gone. i was feisty about that. and apparently i found out later from josh he was the same way with john carr- one of his best men. i walked up stairs and laid down on the floor while lauren was working on hair and the other girls were all just relaxing. "wow.... this is it. this is happening." i cannot explain to you how nervous i was feeling. the decor was looking AWESOME though. can i just side note and say that my wedding decor was the best ever? seriously. it was the coolest thing to see the vision in your head come to life. the crafting (there were lots... and lots....) it would not have happened without five lovely ladies who tackled it all. i will blog about them later though.
everything was surreal. it was all coming together. in my letter i wrote josh i said "its stupid how the bride and groom cant see each other until the ceremony. bc all i want to do is hug you and kiss you and see you right now." it was so true. that is all i wanted. i was so tense. the day went on and lauren eventually started on my hair. i was nervous more than ever now. just the type of thing that would cause one of my panic attacks. so right on cue as the photographer shows up- i begin to have one. i think that is when it felt most real and that is why. i typically get those so it wasn't a huge thing really. but i settled down. and the show went on. my hair was finished and the make-up began. it was happening. i was getting ready to be mrs.henderson.

the dress. it was time. we grabbed the dress and i undressed... which is kinda weird bc everyone is looking at you... but i was helped into it. it was zip up so not a long process. i cried so hard once it was on. it felt real again. there were tears everywhere. i was helped into my shoes and put my earrings on. i walked over to the mirror and cried with a huge smile. dang that dress looked good. i was so ready to see josh. i was about to be mrs. henderson and i could not believe it. it was all so real and yet surreal. girls think about this day for so long and you never actually feel like you are close to it. it all seems so distant. but this day was here. it was not distant at all. but it felt like it should be so it was a weird feeling. i had my wedding dress on. my dress. it was my turn that day. i asked for my flowers and we got the phone call that it was time to leave. time to go see josh.... breathe ally breathe...

good morning bride.