Thursday, June 16, 2011

lately i have been thinking about saranac. a lot. i did summer staff there last august and it changed my life. seriously it did. it changed everything for me- my relationships with people, my drive for leading, my relationship with Jesus. if i were to say the biggest points in my life saranac would be one of them. it was hard being there at first- i had to swim really far in really cold water, libby was not there and had just got diagnosed with cancer, i didnt have any friends there. i felt alone. that was good for me though. it was hard for me to trust girls- and guys for that matter- and i didnt like not knowing anyone. some stuff happened with my best friends from high school my freshman year and it changed me. i became insecure-more insecure than a teenage girl already is- and i was afraid. afraid of breaking walls down. afraid to get close to anyone- i even had a hard time with josh. i caged myself up in a box and couldnt let anyone in. then i went to saranac. and jesus spoke to me more than ever. i made my best friends and lived with girls who truly cared about me and accepted me for who i was. it was amazing. i tear up when i type this. if it weren't for Jesus orchestrating everything at saranac my experience would have been different. we heard a thousand times that august and after that our summer staff was different and loved each other unlike any other summer staff they have ever seen. (im not saying my susta experience was better than anyone elses- it was just perfect for us) its summer now and the warmth outside and the pictures online of my summer staff (susta) friends interning have made me miss it so much. i said that once i came back from susta that i would not dwell on what the Lord taught me there but would rather apply it to my life and look at what the Lord would continue to teach me. but i never thought that it would happen this late in the game. almost a year later i am dwelling and not applying. i am trying to fix that. actually thats a lie. im not trying at all. so i will start to try. thank you friends for last summer- it will always be dear to my heart. thank you Jesus for giving me that opportunity last minute.

this summer is all about learning too. im learning to let things go and how to be a wife and how to be a good leader in all of this. our summer camp trip is coming up in a couple weeks and im so excited- ive never been more excited to lead a trip.

josh- thanks for understanding everything and loving me when im not lovable. almost only a month and ill be your wifey. heres some nostalgic photos for your enjoyment.
disney world 09'

Kaitlins wedding rehearsal 09'

valentines day whale watching 10'

asheville 10'- my hair looks really blonde

thanksgiving 08'


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