there is a lot to do. thankfully i do see an end to sight. but these nitty gritty details stress me out to no end. waiting for money to get things i need to make crafts i have to do so that everythings perfect. i have learned that i am a perfectionist- at least in this way. in things that i love. i do not love school so i do not perfect it. but i really do love planning this and i have a vision so i want it to be perfect. josh has not had a lot to do with it- he knows mostly whats going on but he has had so much. i am so thankful for a man that works so hard even when he hates his job and he is tired and taking classes nonstop all so that we can get married. that is love folks. i paused for a really long time after i just typed that- i normally just type and type and dont think but i thought about that a lot after i typed it. it is so true and i do not show my appreciation enough. josh works harder than any man i have ever seen. he is so focused on shcool and making money to support us it is crazy. i admit that i get frustrated when i think about the fact that josh has not been completely in on this wedding... im mad at myself for ever thinking that. he is focused on our marriage and i am selfish. this wedding will be perfect i know it- i know i know that not everything will go as planned and ill have to let it go blah blah blah. really i know that. but even if things go wrong- which i am told they will- i will look back on that day and it will be perfect.
there is a lot to do- some of which i would rather skip (calling people to get rsvps back- seating charts- finalizing "lists" and orders to send to vendors- oh it is stressful. but i refuse to let it get the best of me. it will all work out. please pray for patience- i am the type of person who starts doing something then i feel unsettled when i do not finish it right away... i.e. this wedding.
josh- thank you for your love and your hard work and leadership. i cannot thank you enough.
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