the hour before i said i do.

after bride & groom, bridal party, & family pictures, josh and i departed into our own separate rooms. i tried to relax and enjoy my last hour as being single. luckily, the first glance really did relax me a ton. i felt at peace. that last hour was so sweet. i was starving. my mom and sister ran around looking for lunch options for us girls earlier that day and it was apparently not an easy task- but what a blessing that was after, so thank you a million times mom & ash. i scarfed down 1/4 of a turkey sandwich. and two pickles. not sure if anyone got a picture of that. but i imagine it was quite funny. i had katie meehans button down shirt on like a child's paint smock, a sweatshirt covering the bottom of the gown. and a napkin wrapped around a pickle, leaning over to make sure not to get evern close to the dress- just chowing down. i couldnt eat the entire weekend but after seeing josh and sharing that moment- i needed some food. so pickles it was. and they were delicious. i ate a breath mint and went to the bathroom. that was also funny. we just lifted up the dress and it was not really a big issue. im sure if my dress were a ball gown, it would have been harder, but it wasn't at all (sorry if that is tmi, but i always wondered about that so i figured i'd let the secret out) and then the hour went by fast. guest started to arrive i was told. so the girls prayed over me. which was so sweet and meaningful. and then it was time. no not time to walk down the aisle just yet. time to let loose and dance one last single dance before i wed. and so hit the music. of course i danced to dynamite. what else would i have chose? dynamite is a special song for me. really special. last august at summer staff, everyone danced to it. i mean everyone, and it had special choreographed moves during the chorus. and at saranac we danced to it countless times a day. in the kitchen. in the dining hall. in the boat house. in the shower. in the store. at the beach. everyone i mean- work crew, camp staff, & summer staff. after almost every meal especially. i love that song and it reminds me that in this life, there is always joy. god gave us music and dancing as a gift and i will not waste that. & i didnt. so i taught the bridesmaids that didnt know it the dance. and it was also one of my favorite moments of the day. after the dance, it i looked at the clock and it was 3:53. 7 minutes. the girls left and my dad came in. another special moment. he told me this- word for word "on your mother and my wedding day, i told her she never looked more beautiful. and i will tell you the same thing- you have never looked more beautiful ally" my dad is a tear jerker with words. i said "daddy, dont make me cry and we hugged." libby came in, & it was time. i couldnt breathe- literally, the nerves overtook me. then i remembered josh's sweet voice and arms that held me through some of the toughest times of my life. i remembered his smile and the way he tickles me when i am mad. and how patient he is. and remembered that he is my best friend and today i start forever with him. i almost forgot the flowers. so my dad grabbed them and i heard the music change. i began the walk down the stair case- toward home.

here is the dynamite song.

susta- if you read this. do me a favor and play this song and dance. 

right now. no matter where you are. love you.

the hour before i said i do.