a mess.

i am a mess right now. i do not know what to do but type. i really just want to scream and throw something really hard (shocking- no one really admits that they want to do that when they are upset. its taboo, but ill admit it. or maybe it is just me.) i am in the odu library crying. luckily not sobbing i am holding it together a little. i cannot sign up for classes because of the writing placement test at odu. there is a hold on my account and it will not be fixed until tuesday. i came to odu today to fix that and meet to apply for a student loan. the writing center did nothing for me and neither did financial aid. i know it may not seem like a big deal that there is a hold on my account but i was supposed to sign up for classes on wednesday. registration started on Monday, but everyone is given a certain time when they will be able to sign up, and it all depends on how many credit hours you have. (seniors go first, then juniors, and sophmores and freshman) i had my schedule planned. classes only on MWF. i am substitute teaching next year so i would have Tuesdays and Thursdays off to do so. now those classes are getting full with only a few spots left. Open registration starts this monday so basically i am not going to be able to get into the classes i need to. especially because once youre an upper-classmen, classes are not vast to choose from. you have to take certain classes and there are not many alternatives. one class i need i emailed the professor last semester to sign up and he would not let me in. is this circumstance different? i hope so. i HATE emailing professors to try to get into full classes. my schedule is all wack now and i STILL cant sign up for classes. i am so so so upset and fed up with school. please pray this all works out. i know it may not seem like a big deal and this seems like a wasted post but its a huge deal to me. how am i supposed to trust god in situations like this? i cant right now and ill admit that. im trying really hard but given the fact that i am crying in public, i dont think i am trusting him. i do not see how this will work out. im sorry lord for thinking that and admitting that. i know you have my plans and my future but this is just so stressful. sometimes, i just want to scream... right now is one of those times.

a mess.