be still.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

ironic title. the past five days have been a whirlwind of non-stop events and things to do for me. i had two papers and three assignments smack dab in the middle of a work crew weekend at rockbridge. monday therefore, was really hard- but i wont complain bc the weekend was too good. chesapeake had the opportunity to take  kids to fall weekend work crew. work crew is where you go to serve campers. youre given a job, a food server, store worker, cook, dish washer, or baker. it is fun- but hard. really hard. you wake up early, go to bed late, and you are just physically and mentally exhausted. its a rare opportunity to serve 850 kids, but we did it this weekend.

so friday i saddled up in my dads 8 passenger seqouia and drove to gbhs. i loaded up the suv with 7 girls plus myself and mountains of luggage and pillows. it was crazy. it was hard to drive such a big vehicle at night, but we made it. we were servers. my arms are spaghetti noodles if you didnt know. i was exhausted. but refreshed & at peace all at the same time. i cant tell you how amazing this weekend was. i literally cant. i took four girls from grassfield- leah, christine, daytona, and anna. they worked so hard and didnt complain and kept their spirits up. it was so great to work alongside them and be with them. for the first time this semester, i felt like i was supposed to be leading. which is a big deal for me. bc ive been waiting for some direction with that.

waiting is my enemy. so often were looking for the next thing. its like were never content to be in the now- this can be related to every day life and future stuff too. kind of like the whole wedding obsession that girls do. [yes. i did it too] you stir up this day "next big thing" in your head- like going to high school, or college, or graduating or getting a job, or marriage, or babies or retirement- whatever it is, your just sitting there twiddling your thumbs until you get to the next thing- and then when its gone your waiting for the next thing to give you direction. and that is not how we are called to live according to God.

be still and know that i am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted on the earth.
psalm 46:10

so if were just trying to configure it by ourselves- then there is no faith there that God is doing work in your life so that he might be exalted. it begs the question- do i have faith at all? if im not being still and content then no. im not putting faith in God at all. i read the other day about this kind of thing in my utmost for his highest. he says that when youve really let go entirely and you just are in the presence of God, then you experience pure peace and joy that no human can have on their own without God. 

so instead of trying to configure the next five years of my life, let alone the next week (exams coming up... eeek) which im notorious for. i am instead going to pray to learn to be still. and then actually try and do that. because this weekend, with no reserves and no expectations, proved that this is all true. if i just let go, and let God, then im free to live passionatly and endlessly and real life & joy will be given to me.

so... what are you waiting for? be still. be content. 

**heres some pics of these crazy girls from the weekend. i love them with all of my heart.
modeling of course. l to r: daytona, me, anna, leah, & christine.

myspace pose. annas really good at it.

girl group pic. cant tell you how much i love all of these girls.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Theme created by PIXELZINE