Monday, September 5, 2011

i cannot begin to describe what it feels like to say your vows. one of the best feelings in the world. and to listen to your best friend promise a life time of love to you is the most amazing thing. josh and i broke form tradition for a lot of our ceremony. and we wrote our own vows. we used the same outline for each but decided to keep them a secret form each other until the wedding. we were both worried about saying them. nervous. anxious. unsure of what to expect. we were especially nervous we wouldnt be able to get the out because the tears would be too much. but that was not a problem. i think because in our hearts we knew we wanted these promises to be read to each other and for everyone to hear. and everyone did. through our tearful eyes our voices came out. i am pretty sure everyone was able to hear. it was beautiful. as he stood there with his ripped graph moleskin paper with his blue ink written all over it, he read the sweetest words. he read them and i knew they were from his heart. his promises made to me in that moment made me think of how safe i was going to be. how firm we would be in jesus together and how he would never let me down. he would always lead me and provide for me. i knew i would always be his second priority next to jesus. i knew he would love me as the Lord has loved me. then it was my turn. ryder handed me my computer paper, typed to a 5x7 format in Courier font. i guess that was funny compared to joshs, so everyone laughed. including josh and i. it was funny- because i am a planner (just wait until you see the wedding details & crafts) and josh is a more go with the flow. it was quite funny. so i read them. they were unconventional and josh loved it. i could tell when i looked up into his eyes as i read every line. we were both smiling and crying and on the inside dying to embrace each other.

vows. they often get overlooked as another piece of the ceremony. just another step. we all know they are promises to each other, but when you sit back and really think of what they mean- its utterly beautiful. for two people, two sinners. two imperfect people. both making promises to put the other person before him/her. when i think about that, it goes against everything the world tells us. over and over were taught to look out for yourself. take care of yourself first. never let go of your heart because you cant trust anyone with it. marriage in the Godly sense, goes against all of that. that day josh and i promised that we would take care of each other first and foremost. that we were a team now and that we would fight and die for each other. i gave my heart to josh that day, knowing that he is not perfect and that sometimes he would still hurt me (he is not God.), but knowing that his intentions are to love me completely for the imperfect person i am, just as Christ did. and he gave his heart to me knowing that i am imperfect as well, and that i would sometimes still hurt him. but that my intentions are to submit to him, just like the church submits to Christ. were a team. the best kind of team there is. and were not perfect. but our vows that day meant that we would strive to be more like Christ in order to love God, love each other, and love people more.

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