2 months- already.

i am pretty sure i just wrote the post about 3 months twenty seconds ago... time flies. planning has been good since my last post. i have made lists [the same list four different ways] to help me get organized. and have gotten some stuff i need and am having a craft day this friday. josh and i are going to look at an apartment today & i am going to get dress alterations. everything is becoming so real. we got our first wedding gift (well actually a month ago, josh forgot to tell me) but it was so exciting! my bachlorette party is this thursday night- caileigh is coming down and i cannot wait. it seems like forever since i have seen her (it has) and we are going to have so much fun i just know it! she keeps me sane during these stressful wedding times and is willing to do anything to help. i love that about her. i could not have asked for a better maid of honor or all together best friend.

i have been reading a lot about joy lately. what it means to have joy. i have always said that in Christ there is an ever-constant joy happening inside. times may be really hard. trials of life may bring you down. and you will not always be happy. but your joy in Christ will stay with you constantly. that is how i have felt lately. kind of a mess. i have done some things lately that were insanely hard for me to do. one of them for me: i have had to admit my faults out loud. josh and i are dealing with conflict right now. we are learning how to have healthy conflict- we do not do that well. although we never hold a grudge for a long period of time and always manage to solve things fairly quickly, it is rough. but we are learning. and trying to experience what the Lord wants to teach us during those times- patience, joy, submissiveness, peace- whatever it may be. so we are praying and seeking it all. i am looking for the joy in everything lately, between hard confrontations and arguments, i am looking at what He wants to teach me/us.

2 months- already.